Tag Archive for Longing

Lovestruck and Unworried

oh to be lovestruck and unworried

if the sky is falling

but my feet are numb now

so the water

creeping over my ankles

laughs without peril

I enjoy having my feet wet

and then some

 

the perils of trying to be multidimensional

only arise

when the paper people break their bonds

and shrug into reality

like the way your shoulders look like

a tilting coathanger when you sit in front of me

and I know you have no depth within

those collarbones and

back muscles that flex beneath cotton

anything not filled with holywater

holywords and trivia

is ignored and spiderwebby from lack of use

 

I know it’s too much to ask you

to understand

but the unspoken promises between the three of us

vibrate just beneath the skin

and the trembling of my fingers soothes

the aching of shoulders that should carry wings

instead of bookbags

and your words penetrate my ears over any tiny din

although the voice is little but a whisper

 

“when I look around I think this

this is good enough

and I try to laugh at whatever life brings

’cause if I look down I just miss all the good stuff

and if I look up I just trip over things”

 

but oh to be lovestruck and unworried

if the sky is falling

How Can I Not Have Known You

how can I not have known you

how can I have not seen you

did you hide from my prying eyes every day

were you smiling as I walked by oblivious to your beauty

am I intertwined with you for some reason that I cannot know

do I feel the same pain that I did before I knew I could not have you

how can something that fits so right not be made for me

 

did you see me watching you when you walked by

can you help me

 

that mountain stands before me and I do not have the energy to climb it

will you please notice my pleas

you intimidate me with your infinite knowledge of all things incredible

I watch in awe

I watch in disgust

I miss the times that I could have known you and didn’t

I tire of my thoughts and yearn for yours

can you even hear me?

 

like clockwork you pass

it’s time for me to leave

Gripping Fear

Gripping fear is haunting me,

Haunting me night and day,

Holding me back from flying free.

 

With the exams I cannot be happy,

Got to work. There is no other way.

Gripping fear is haunting me.

 

No lake of peace as far as I can see,

But the troubled sea rages away,

Holding me back from flying free.

 

Although I can cross the furious sea,

While hope sends out a ray.

Gripping fear is haunting me,

Holding me back from flying free.

Rose

The lights are out

and the house is quiet as she slinks down the stairs.

You could never tell but by her haunted eyes what fear fills her mind;

and a way she has of looking over her shoulder,

cringing from shadows, touches, and people who aren’t there.

You could never tell from her stylish clothes or her prettily curled hair.

Her designer shoes wouldn’t give her away, or her outstanding grades.

Yet she walks like she’s expecting some sort of brutal blow.

Her eyes flick from yours, should you have the stomach to meet their fey sorrow.

The lights are out.

All her family sleeps as she creeps from her room.

The gentle night holds her close, keeps her face in shadow.

Delicate fingers shake as they reach to touch a rose,

running her finger across a silky petal, accidentally snagging on a thorn.

She whispers a quiet word to the patient, kindly night, an ancient question

as her finger bleeds. “Why?” and as always the night does not answer.

A petal falls, disturbed by her unsteady fingers, unable to cling to the stem any longer.

Silently another petal falls; a flower’s life is not so long as that of a woman.

Someone stirs and she flees to her room.

The night sighs, caresses her face as she slips into sleep.

You could never tell from her peaceful face that she is any different from you.