The Eternal War

Waging within us all is a kind of war. For some the war seems quickly won, with a victor easily decided. For others the battle is slower, more drawn out, but in no way less intense. But for a few, the battle is a lifelong struggle against a seemingly overwhelming foe. Ironically, it is often times these people that appear to be the calmest ones of all, the ones that act as though there is no conflict at all. Ah, but it is only an act, for the battle is very real.

Some desire to do good. They excel at all that they do, and they seem confident in the assurance that they will do well. Yet a heart-piercing search will reveal them to be little more than wandering waifs searching for fulfillment, contentment, and, most of all, peace. In this confusion and struggle, these are the people that will strive to please others in a vain search for peace, but other’s pleasure brings only an empty contentment. So the battle continues, growing only more and more fierce.

On the outside, these people seem calm, undisturbable, but they are like tranquil lakes. The surface is smooth, but beneath that surface lies a world of turmoil. Predators feed on their helpless prey; oxygen is greedily consumed by all in order to survive; currents run eternally, pulling everything unanchored along with it. Everything in this underwater world is in its place, yet a cruel relentlessness always drives it, keeping it from a perfect peace. It is from this so neatly organized chaos that inner eyes look up—searching—always searching, for assurance and peace. Gazing upward, a shaft of sunlight is seen penetrating the surface like a ray of hope. And all is calm—for a moment. Quickly the chaos dissipates the light, scattering the hope like a sound on a windy day, and once more the lost waifs are alone in their self-created darkness.

Occasionally, it appears that all the problems have been solved. For a season, impossible dreams are dreamt and deemed within reach, but soon reality descends, suffocating those dreams. The pain is bitter, yet it is clung to desperately as a drowning man clutches a lifeline. The pain cannot be left; it is craved in an illogical manner. At the same time, these poor waifs grow more timid. They allow themselves to hope less and less, always fearing the disappointment and pain of shattered dreams.

Such is the eternal battle between good and evil in perhaps its most potent form. The form that is waged on the battlefield of a human heart. Unlike physical wars, this one cannot be called off. It will continue raging until one wins and the other is destroyed. Unlike earthly battles, casualties cannot bring it to a halt. The fire feeds on itself, burning fuel only to find it immediately replenished. This is the battle contained in the human body. This is the battle of all time. Its complexities rival those of the human psyche, but its answer is many times more difficult to grasp.

Perhaps the worst part of this war is wondering whether one faces this battle alone. Are there others struggling with this war? Does good and evil battle within someone else? Or is a person truly as isolated as he or she makes herself feel? The answer may remain forever unknown, so the timid warrior hides. She hides behind a smiling face and a laughing voice. He hides behind physical exertion and mental strain. They hide in the crowd. They blend, and, like a chameleon, rarely expose their true colors. They think no one else will guess of the secret war they wage against themselves; but they hope, they pray, that someone will see through their calm surface to the deeper waters below. And the war wages on.

But, wait! Look! A beam of sunlight penetrates!

One or the Other…

Perhaps we’re just two more teenagers

who think we’re better

and have something to offer each other

I’ve always been a good liar

at least to others

so perhaps nothing you do hurts me

I just make it

or maybe we’re both lost in a moment

a fresh experience

that makes us blind

we’ve possibly spent months trying hard

to keep ourselves, or each other, or both

fooled, kept from loneliness

I’ll see you sometime

and these thoughts I’ve never thought before

may make more sense then

I either love you or hate you.

For You to Eat

We are teenagers

and not strangers

to this world

that’s hurled

in our face

the human race

hurting us

and spurting us

onto this planet

you bet

we’re alive

and we’ll thrive

when you die

it’s no lie

we’re the next generation

and contamination

is not in us

it’s lush

the way we go

so we’re in the know

about it

come hear us shout it

we’ll get it done

the job is fun

to us

we won’t fuss

as long as we get paid

that rules $ aid

from the dawn of time

our time

not yours

life’s no hors d’oeuvres

for you to eat.

Her Whisper in the Twilight of Armageddon

Thy eyes molest what they can

Thy heart is a harlot with blood on her lips

Midnight chimes, the Devil’s crimes

I grasp her by her hips

Intertwining love patterns in a cemetery at night

Thy love came with pleasure at first bite

Her pulchritude dispelled with flames on her sex

The world ends, the scars mend

Her body burns as she releases her hex

The angels fall one by one o’er the tombs of the damned


She says “I need thy angel to mourn”

“I need a world to be dead in”

And as we vow our love, “God scorns”

I hear her whisper in the twilight of Armageddon

“I need thy blood, and I need thy bruises”

She tosses and turns

In her velvet bedding

“By the morrow I shall be gone”

I heard her whisper in the twilight of Armageddon


Her memories burn flesh off me

Her body laid to rest fortnights ago

The burial gown, six feet beneath the ground

Decaying with my love bled red in the snow

Eternity can’t heal wounds like mine, yet I still have

Eternity to suffer

Ten years, she’s been gone; She’s been gone so long

And not one ounce of love has died

An ember of sex; an ember of pride

I recall every word she ever said, and

I recall her whisper in the twilight of Armageddon.

Love Not Divulged

I am so glad I never loved you,

You had me fooled for awhile.

You owned my thoughts and dictated my feelings;

But you never possessed the power of my love.


Don’t you realize what this means?

I haven’t loved! It’s still a hidden treasure!

I haven’t lost my innocence, so the search continues

To harness the power of my love.


I am so relieved I never loved you.

If that was love, what a disappointment.

How immensely overrated!

I remain thirsty for my mug of true love.


Love doesn’t doubt; I always doubted you.

Love trusts; I never trusted you.

Love is not a marsh of insecurity and despair.

Love is a gleaming lake of respect and honor.


I haven’t found that lake quite yet,

But I persist against the current.

The journey may be grueling and tiresome,

But someday I’ll rest in the middle of the lake.

Joy From Her Voice

Joy from her voice,

joy from her face;

my heart sings when she is near me.

Warmth from her smile,

warmth from her touch;

so filled am I with love for my beloved.

All of you there,

I see your looks;

I know what you are thinking.

With my love

I break some rule,

some accepted understanding.

Your glances

and your knowing looks;

with them you condemn me.

You would like

nothing more

then to utterly destroy me.

I ask you,

I beg of you,

please try to understand this;

is it my fault

that my dearest of loves

was born in the same form as me?

A Poem

Your pen suddenly

Reaches down, blemishes

the undefiled white page.

Blue lines stare

mockingly at you

‘Well what will it be?’

they ask of you

Impatiently waiting to

Be filled with blue ink

scratched into words, clauses,

Sentences that express

Those deep hurts

quiet moments

soft gentle voices in your

Heart. beats with anticipation

how can you express

all these mysteries?

How can words touch,

break, destroy, create

feelings undiscovered


The beauty of these words

uplifts me.

The poem is complete.