I’m driving

down a road with no destination.

Crowding the backseat

are Fifteen, Sixteen, and Seventeen.

They all love me.

Love me? What do they know about love?

I keep driving

trying to hide what we seek.

Happiness.

It’s hidden in my bag.

Cradled inconspicuously next to the boys.

Our path soon wavers

and the boys attempt to sound like men

as their voices rise.

I want to keep on going with our lives,

but I pull over,

knowing it’s best.

I smoke my Happiness

while the older boys

leave parts of Fifteen’s life on the side of the road.

Hopefully someone will come along and pick up the pieces.

History is destined to repeat itself

and too quickly the car is filled only with me and Seventeen

who wishes to show his affections

and have his daily dose of Happiness.

I drive a little farther

and park in front of a beaten-up motel without a name

that opens its doors to us

Seventeen goes to check in

keeping his Happiness near and dear.

I wait in the car

my hand on the ignition

knowing I can leave,

wondering where I have driven my life.